


A Friendly Chat

by Adenil



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag - Margaret's Marriage, M/M, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 14:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6288253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adenil/pseuds/Adenil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank seems oddly calm in his role as Penobscot’s best man. Perhaps a chat with BJ helped calm him down?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Friendly Chat

**Author's Note:**

> I'm rewatching MASH and importing all my old fics from ff.net. [Here's](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5201758/1/A-Friendly-Chat) the original.

Frank sat on his bunk, hunched over one black boot with a stained cloth in one hand and black shoe polish in the other. He was polishing the boot madly; only ready to stop when he could see his reflection. He wanted the shoe to be perfect. He wanted _everything_ to be perfect. It was for Margaret, after all.

His happiness at polishing the boot attracted the attention of one BJ Hunnicutt, who was busy shaving. BJ shook his head at Frank's joyful humming.

"Why are you so happy?" He ran the blade over a particularly rough patch of beard. "That's your girlfriend getting married, and not to you."

Frank jerked his boot down and glared at BJ's back. "The lot you know! Major Houlihan and I are only ever professional."

A small lull in the conversation indicated where Hawkeye was supposed to chime in with a smart remark. But Frank and BJ were alone, and no such remark came.

BJ went back to shaving and Frank went back to his boot, still blathering on.

"I don't know where you ninny's get that idea. Margaret and I aren't anything anyway." He let his boot drop, his eyes glazing over. "That anything was nothing and what a nothing it was."

BJ hummed. "Frank," he paused to clean up a spot on his neck that he'd missed. "The whole camp, heck, the whole war knows you're in love with Margaret."

Frank let out a barking laugh. "That ain't love, bub."

"Still denying everything? There's really no point anymore."

Franks work suddenly seemed much less important to him. He looked to the tent roof for answers as he considered what BJ said. "Huh," he said. "You're right. There really is no point in denying it. Not like it'll matter in a few days."

"What!?" BJ spluttered, whipping around in confusion. A drop of shaving cream clung to his ear. "You're admitting your liaisons? After all this time?"

"Sure," he shrugged, and then pointed an accusing finger at BJ. "But I was never in love with her. I've been in love before, and that isn't it."

"But… what about all that you risked for her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Frank…" He placed a hand on his forehead in an attempt to gather his thoughts. "Despite what Hawkeye and I would like to believe, you aren't stupid. You wouldn't risk your marriage if you didn't get something out of it."

"I got something all right."

BJ tried to hold back a laugh, really he did, but a snicker still worked its way out. "Is that so?"

Frank leapt to his feet. "Not _that_ you dirty minded hobo! That's just sick."

"Well, sorry!" BJ said sarcastically. "What else was I supposed to think?"

Frank drew himself up, puffing out his chest. "For your information, we had a co-dependant relationship. I got support, someone to defend me, someone who thought as I thought. And if she wanted a bumbling buffoon to make her feel better about herself… well then, I was happy to oblige."

BJ sat down heavily on the bed across from Frank, his mind reeling. Could it be possible that Frank wasn't as stupid as everyone thought? "Oh. I—I never realized. I take back what I said about you."

"No, you don't." Frank sat down on his own bed, returning to his boot polishing. "Just don't spread it around."

"My lips are sealed."

"To Pierce."

"Uh."

Frank glanced up, looking suddenly a little scared. "Nothing! I said nothing."

BJ blinked. He was in a daze. How could Frank have known? But as he'd said earlier, there was no point in denying it. "Oh. How?"

He shifted nervously. "Oh, you know. You aren't very sneaky. Even McIntyre was better at hiding than you."

BJ gulped at Franks words, a small pain forming in his chest. "Are you saying that… he and Hawk—?"

"Nope."

"Then what, Frank?" he asked angrily. "What are you saying?"

He looked at BJ as if trying to decide just how much to say. "Only two people know of Trapper cheating on his wife; him, and the person he was cheating with."

"Then how do you—?"

"There you are!"

The swamp door banged open and Hawkeye meandered in. He looked rather spiffy in his dress uniform, and his small smile did wonders on softening the uniforms harsh lines.

"The weddings about to start! You wouldn't want to be late for Margaret's big day, would you Frank?"

"Oh, you—oh!" He glared and finished his boot, slipping it on. He rose and began bustling around, rushing to get dressed for his duty as best man.

A little dazed, BJ rose as well. He shrugged his dress jacket on and concentrated on doing up the buttons. When he looked up, Hawkeye was smiling at him.

Hawkeye offered him his arm, and BJ accepted it.

"Shall we?" Hawkeye asked.

"We shall." BJ smiled and they virtually skipped from the tent.

He didn't let himself look back, but he knew Frank was watching them.


End file.
